There was a really great article in the Huffington Post about how men try to deflect their own bad behavior by derailing a woman’s feelings and convincing her that she’s crazy. The proper term for this is called gaslighting. Be sure to check out the article, it’s a good read.
Never Let a Man Tell You that You’re Crazy
Let me just say right from the very beginning that I do not advocate violence against men, even when they behave badly, but I understand it. If you’ve been dating or in a relationship with a guy and he decides to:
1. Stop calling out of the blue and falls off the face of the earth
2. Flirts, sleeps with or dates one of your friends behind your back
3. Breaks up with you via e-mail, text voicemail, etc…
4. (You fill in the blank here)
He most definitely deserves to have his tires slashed, or at the very least an Oscar-winning dramatic performance at his house or place of employment. I have wanted to do this on more than one occasion in the past but always decided against for many reasons:
- I don’t want to go to jail
- I’m better than that
- 99% of the time I don’t believe violence is the way
The reality is when it comes to truth-telling and integrity, many men are lazy and they don’t consider how their bad behavior affects a woman. I don’t care if he just wasn’t that into you or if his dog just died, the compassionate truth is always the best response.
Own Your Feelings
And ladies, do not be afraid to express and own your emotions, especially if the man in your life has hurt your feelings or treated you badly. You deserve to express yourself. It’s better to express yourself and put your feelings on the table than to hold it in. You are responsible for your behavior, but it is equally important to acknowledge the man’s role in your problem so that you can assign blame and responsibility where it belongs.
Leave a comment and share your thoughts.
Have you read The Plus Size Dating Manifesto yet? It’s the best dating advice for plus size women. I’m going to be taking it down this weekend, so be sure to get your F*REE copy at www.plussizeology.com.
